Plastic Bauble Of The Universe

Xmas Lights are sadly no more, though some of them play in the appallingly monikered Coloureds, who are garnering a very good response for themselves, though I'm yet drop into their sphere of influence.

Sorry, I don't know why I'm talking like this. Somebody bought me a square foot of the Highlands today, perhaps the power has gone to my head. I've rethought my stance on metal singing since this review was written in january 06, I can now quite enjoy that death metal gargle...if it's done very well indeed.

XMAS LIGHTS - ENRON ATE MY BABY (demo)

One can easily imagine a comic strip of the old school, perhaps in The Beano, about the singer in a heavy metal band. Throughout the day he'd be trying ever so hard to find time to pen some lyrics for the group's new song, yet little things will keep popping up and distracting him, and the task is never completed. Onstage, in the final frame he winks: "Chortle! Thanks to this ridiculous growly voice I'm putting on, nobody can tell I'm singning absolute nonsense. Rock on, eh readers!".

Call it a pet hate, but the rasping grind-your-bones-to-make-my-bread approach to metal vocals only ever sounds childish to these ears, and almost entirely eradicates any chance of diversity, expression or individuality in a front man. As Xmas LIghts spring from the darker end of black, it's unsurprising that their demo boasts plenty of unedifying and indecipherable roaring. However, as this is definitely the only criticism to be made of this hugely impressive and entertaining recording, perhaps we'll agree to let it ride. Just this once, mind.

The first thing to hit you is Xmas Lights' control of atmosphere. Nearly every metal band thinks it can create an unsettling air simply by turning up the amps and pulling a nasty face, but Xmas Lights employ electronic tones, heavily treated guitars and illbient production techniques to construct a dark feeling of paranoid claustrophobia. Opening track "Digital List Of Lights", for example, begins with vocal samples fuzzy enough to sound as though they've been under the bed for a few months, before introducing some Godsped tumescent guitar lines dusted with dissonant overdubs. At this point you'd be forgiven for supposing that Xmas Lights were a slightly neater version of local art droners themonroetransfer, until the metal rhythms crash in like an uninvited troll after six and a half minutes. Elsewhere on the demo, glistening keyboard sounds weave through the bludgeoning noise like golden thread in a black tapestry. Perhaps the greatest achievement is "Open Till Late Seven Days A Week", which squeezes queasy, compressed vocal samples from some horribly overbright advertsiing voiceover through a greasy sonic mangle. It brings to mind Orbital's "Philosphy By Numbers" or Aphex Twin's tampon ad lampooning classic "Tamphex".

Lest there be any confusion, though, let's be clear that this demo is not simply an exercise in dark ambient drifting - there's a healthy dose of manic, jittercutting metal assaulting our ears too, you know. "Freaking Out In A Maze Of Mirrors" (a reference to mad Japanese gameshow Takeshi's Castle? Probably not) sounds like the remnants and offcuts from a Finnish metal workshop, squashed together with a Zappafied ear for the complex and absurd, whereas the closing track marries shimmering guitars and nagging bell chimes with brutal and intricate drumming that sounds as though it's from a different song altogether. Or maybe four or five different songs.

Perhasps you get the idea that there's far more going on here that can be described in a few paragraphs. What's impressive is the way Xmas Lights continue to pile on time changes, baroque variations and assorted sonic oddities without losing the sense of being roundly bashed by a railroad spike that all good metal supplies. If the band can replicate this intensity live, they have to be worth investigating. Best order a nice stiff drink beforehand, though.