Smirk Gently's Holistic Invective Agency

I don't think I meant "titration" here, probably "clinical evaporation" would have been more accurate, but I'm not certain. Fuck chemistry, let's dance.

SMILEX/ HEADCOUNT/ BEELZEBOZO/ DEATH VALLEY RIDERS – Quickfix, Wheatsheaf, 10/7/09


Repetition, like excessive volume, is a musical trick that’s childishly easy to achieve, yet incredibly difficult to pull off convincingly. Death Valley Riders play huge, near static rock instrumentals, with a distant basis in metal, and the merest hint of goth in the bass effects, and come off like Einstellung divided by Nephilim. The ever-chugging longform tracks are doubtless supposed to be monumental, and in a way they are, but that isn’t always impressive: imagine the monolith in 2001 made of, not mysteriously sleek adamantine, but warm guacamole. Ultra-minimal music can be hypnotic, but it can also just be, you know, sort of…long.

Beelzebozo are the residue after a clinical hard rock titration – there’s nothing to their music but thumping drums, ceaseless riffs and silly outfits, leaving us wondering why so many other rockers try to dilute their sound with clumsy extraneous ornaments (rap breaks, hasty electronics, embarassing politics). The band’s Satan-raped conference delegate look, all blood-splattered shirts and battered nametags, is amusing, but doesn’t detract from some high quality rock taken at a stately pace. Glance at their website, and you’ll find it boasts more ideas than most bands get through in a lifetime: their music is harmless levity, but they take it very seriously, which is why we love them.

Three chunky lads playing sweary punk should be tedious, so the fact that Headcount are not only listenable, but also one of this county’s best acts, is frankly astounding. We call it The Tommy Cooper Ratio. So, of course we get lumpy clogged-artery punk frolics, but we get subtlety too, in Stef Hale’s surprisingly delicate drum embellishments (shades of Therapy?, perhaps) and Rob Moss’ increasingly melodic vocals. As befits a band that has been working hard for a decade, it’s admirably mature stuff, and even better, as Moss gives his arse an airing onstage, it’s played by admirably immature people.

The temptation before this gig was to cut up all our old Smilex reviews and stick the words back together in a random order. The downside of being vastly professional and reliable entertainers (and you should see Tom Sharp flying into the set, even though he’s sick as a dog), is that people can get immured to your charms. Intriguingly, this turns out to be a set of new and less familiar material, which allows us to focus once again on what a storming rock band Smilex is. We discover afresh how intense the rhythm section is, and how good Lee Christian can be at performing a song (even whilst he’s flailing about with his top off, like the grotesque child of Iggy Pop and Neil Hannon). A wonderful set by a band we shouldn’t take for granted. But don’t spit on us like that, Lee; Rob’s already brought one arse to the stage, no need to be another.